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#182823 My friend's relationship decisions (and mine)

Posted by Zgf72 on 03 December 2008 - 12:29 AM in Spiritual & Emotional Needs

Not too long ago, I put up a post about this girl I have strong feelings for. Her and I have become extremely close friends over the 11 months or so that I've known her, and she's the first person in almost 3 years that I will allow myself to be with in a relationship. I've prayed meticulously about her, because over this course of time it has only seemed that God has allowed us to grow closer and closer together. However, it's different for her. She knows how I feel, we dated a little bit during the summer before I went off to school, but I haven't pursued her because another guy did earlier in the year. Her ex-boyfriend, whom she has had a hard time getting over, has come back in the picture as well, once before and as of tonight once again. Now, for the second time, she feels torn between these two guys. I love this girl enough to support her and give her advice even if it doesn't mean being with me. There have been several occasions where she has text messaged me at 2 am just to vent a little, and I've always been there to help her, among other things. All I can say is that the guy from her school is not who she should be with. He's not good for her at all, and nobody, including her girl friends and family, is impressed by him. As for her ex-boyfriend, he's not exactly the perfect role model either, but I don't know enough about him to say anything positive or negative in his regard. Please, just pray for my friend's eyes to be opened in this situation. She doesn't have to struggle with this. Inside, I do wish she would just see what seems to me to be the obvious trail that God has paved between us, but ultimately I don't know the right course of action to take myself. I know, at least in her current state, she probably isn't in the right state of mind to be with, but for her sake I hope she makes the RIGHT relationship decision, whether it's the bad guy, her ex-boyfriend, or, if God works in that way, with me.

#175573 A friend I care about that I can't have

Posted by Zgf72 on 16 October 2008 - 05:03 PM in Spiritual & Emotional Needs

Around December or so of last year, my friend introduced me to this girl he knew that caught my attention solely because she was pretty and a Christian. So I prayed about it every once in a while, it's not every day that I find a girl that seemed as interesting as her. Well around February, she got my number and we started texting just about every day since, and to make a long story short we've become quite close. I've dated several people, but I've only had one official relationship in the past few years. I'm extremely picky, I can't stress that enough, and I pray strenuously over every girl I have dated. Well, this summer we kind of dated, but in our talks I discovered she wasn't over her ex-boyfriend, so I didn't pursue her as much but we've remained close. No girl, even my last girlfriend, has matched up with my expectations as well as her. Earlier this summer she even had a boyfriend but we remained close and I still had a burden for her on my heart. I never did anything to jeopardize their relationship but they ended up breaking up after a month--because she wasn't over her ex. Well now, her ex is trying to come back into her life and wants her back, but she's kind of seeing this guy right now from her school here recently (we go to colleges an hour away). She's very confused now, and I am as well. You know, God has taught me a lot over the course of this year. I've prayed about my situation with this girl diligently for almost a year now, which praise goes to God for teaching me such perseverance for the burdens that are on my heart, as well as patience and how to be a good friend. But now I'm at this point. I've established myself as a good friend to her, one of the few people she actually trusts even, but the burden on my heart for her is almost unbearable. She asked me for advice on her situation, and I told her to pray about it and make the wisest decision possible. I just want God's will to be done, but I thought I was certain that His will was for us to be together. I can't tell you how many times I've been down and out about my relationship with this girl when it seemed we would grow apart somehow, only for me to pray for God to restore us and her and I come back that much closer together. I'm not praying that God bring us together, but that her eyes be opened and that she make the best decision. Tonight, I'm gonna give her advice that she should consider the guy she's currently kind of seeing's feelings, and tell her that the reason I never progressed things with her was because of her feelings for her ex. We haven't discussed how I felt about her since this summer, but I say this mainly to let her know how I feel as well as letting her know that she shouldn't but half-effort into the guy she is with if she harbors such feelings for her ex. I mean, above all, I want to be with this girl. I want a relationship for the right reasons, I'm not into sex and such in relationships, and I'm an incredibly nice guy (not trying to be modest here). I don't know too much about the guy she's seeing now, but I know her ex isn't exactly the best person. But at the same time, I want God's will to be done. I thought His will was for her and I to be together. She's an amazing person, and like I said the best catch I've found in my life so far. I know God can provide, but He could easily turn this situation into mine and her favor if it was His desire. Just pray for me and her both in this very confusing time, for my clarity as to how I should set my mind about this situation and the advice I give her and for her decision-making, whomever she may choose even if it's not me. I hope this post made sense, this is actually a very condensed version. PLEASE help me with this matter, thanks and God bless.