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Lostandlookingtoforgive

Member Since 20 May 2012
Offline Last Active May 21 2012 10:14 PM
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Topics I've Started

Scared to reply to forum post.

21 May 2012 - 02:43 PM

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone, but I find myself scared to reply to peoples prayer post. I normally just take a minute right after I read and pray for the person. How can I get over that fear? I guess maybe because I'm unsure how to pray, and I do worry what people will think. I'm learning to pray. I'm new to this site, and new to finding God on my own, but I've learned so much. I thank God for EVERYONE of you. Should I be worried what people think?

Need a procedure done, but can't cover the cost.

21 May 2012 - 01:25 PM

Hi, I'm asking for prayer. I need to have a procedure done, but it's almost 5,000( plus some because I have to travel to another state to have it done) and my medical won't cover it, I'm not sure if they won't, but because of what it's for they most likely won't, because it isn't life or death. This procedure could and WILL effect my life and up coming marriage. I need help finding money to cover the cost..... So, I'm begging for you to pray for me... Thank you God bless.

Helping my brother and fiance find their way.

20 May 2012 - 04:33 PM

I'm asking people to pray for my fiance and my little brother. My brother and I were raised in the church, but when my mother had a small falling out with God (She is now building her relationship back). We stopped going to church. My brother is not really saying he doesn't, nor does he believe in God. He thinks there is a higher being, but he doesn't think it's the God that we praise. My fiance does believe in God, but he I guess has his doubt. He will not say God doesn't exist, but he doesn't think you need to go to church and praise his name, or even read your bible in order to get into heaven. He thinks all you need to do is be a good person... But a good person without faith doesn't cut it. He's grown to not like church people because he sees them ALL as hypocrites. They are both good people, with good hearts. They are just lost and confused. As am I, but I'm finding my way and I want them to follow. Thank You -God Bless

Asking God to help me forgive my abuser, and heal my heart (Kind of long)

20 May 2012 - 04:22 PM

I've never been apart of a site like this, if this is too long, please forgive me.


I currently don't attend a church. I've having a hard time finding a place that I think will lead me in the right direction..

I'm no saint, I've done my share of sinful deeds. But, I've always tried to be a good person. When I was younger, I was sexually abused by my father (my birth father). I never told a soul, and up until NOW, I never realized how bad it has affected my life. I became depressed, violent, not so much to people but, I took my anger out on house items such as the dresser. I tore up a room once, and I still to this day don't know where all that anger came from...

I became a compulsive eater, and a extreme loner. It wasn't till I was 18, and I moved in with my boyfriend, that I learned my past will make it's great comeback... It started off as we couldn't have sex, and it was something that was killing us. I went to the doctor and found out I had something called Vaganismus. It's a sexual disorder that can stem from childhood sexual abuse. Having to overcome this sexual dysfunction, I was FORCED to face what happened. I started seeing a therapist, but no matter how much I talk to her I know my biggest problem can only be fixed by GOD himself.

I'm tired of hurting and feeling bad, I want to be happy. I want to be a batter person and I feel this can only happen if God heals my heart, or show me how to heal it. How to forget and move on, because I'm the ONLY one who is suffering. My boyfriend and I are getting married in July, because I no longer want to live in sin. We've decided to no longer share a bed, and do what I NEED to do to get close to GOD. How can I love him if I don't even love myself.... I've tried to kill myself TWICE, the first time I puked up all the medication. The second time the knife wouldn't cut me, I watched my grandmother cut meet with that knife. But when I put it to my skin, it wouldn't cut for the life me. I now know that ONLY had to be God. I felt that was Gods way of telling me I need to live, but whats the point if I'm wishing I was dead... I'm 22, and have my whole life to live...

I say all this to say, I NEED HELP! I NEED HELP LEARNING TO FORGIVE.

This is why I ask for your prayers, to help push me on my way. I've cried, and cried.
I feel if I can get over this ONE issue, not only will it help me become closer to God, but to my soon to be husband. I need to move on so that, I can be a good mother in the future. I even gave up once on having children because I'm scared someone will hurt them, and I won't be there to protect them... I've change my thoughts some, but its still in the back of my head. I never realized how, that one issue could have done so much to my life....

I admit I'm scared, but I know with the help of people who believe in the Lord, as much as I do, I'll be okay... I no longer want to hate anyone, even him. I want to let people in, I want people to enjoy Vanessa, because I'm an awesome person with a HUGE heart, my education has suffered, because I'm too depressed to get out of bed... I don't want to jump out of my sleep from every little noise I hear. I don't want to go out in public and feel I have to watch EVERYONE.

I want to be able to make love to my husband, I've been with him for almost 8 years and he has been so supportive. I THANK GOD FOR HIM all the time. but his support is only gonna get me so far... Most of all, I want to be able to trust people, and be a good wife. I worry these problems will ruin my marriage.

I'm not gonna lie, I first started looking for God for my OWN selfish reasons, but in the mist of looking for him, I've learned I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING without him

Please pray for me,
I'm begging to be free. I'm dying to be free, my life is depending on it....