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I dont know what to do

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#1 Sanjud23


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Posted 03 August 2010 - 12:42 PM

I think I am having another attack of depression or something again…I feel as if I must bash my head against a wall, till everything inside me stops. God I cant live like this anymore, I am living such a worthless life, worthless to me, worthless to others…I will be completing 27 years of my life this month…I have nothing to be proud of…I have failed in everything…I have failed in my jobs, education, love, personal life, spiritual life, social life…people make fun of me because I have no career, I am not going forward…It seems that I am not good enough to be even a friend. My life is like a ruined city, abandoned, best days gone by…life passes me by. I have stopped living. I don’t like living. I don’t want to apply for jobs, do new things try all over again…I don’t like anything. My youth is passing by me and I can only watch it fades away. I have nothing to look forward into future. In Sri Lanka there was a terrible war, accidents, dengue, diseases…so many people with beautiful lives died. Nothing hit me. I wish that God took away me instead of my sister…life without hope or love is something terrible than death itself…but I have lost faith in love. I don’t have the ability to love and I don’t want to love ever again. But until a heart beats, we always love something or some ones, parents friends…etc. if God ever created dangerous nuisance, its this thing called heart…see, I cant commit suicide coz I keep sensing the deep misery of my parents. They both imagine that they have wasted their lives and that nothing worthwhile remained, except this creature that they call their daughter, worthless scarecrow in a barren field…If I kill myself, this two people will die along with me. I don’t mind killing myself; I don’t want to kill them. I don’t like living, I cant die, I have lost ability to pray , faith…I don’t know why I am writing to you even…you people must have enough heartaches of your own without me adding to them…I am so sorry so sorry. What do I do now? From, Sanju

#2 MrsCRNek


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Posted 03 August 2010 - 06:52 PM

Sanjud, My heart aches for you. You are in such a desperate situation. But please believe that God hears your prayers. And you must know that your life is precious. You were saved for a reason. God has a purpose for you and He will deliver you. For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 God makes promises that He will keep. He can not break a promise or lie. He hears your cries and knows your needs even if you can't tell him. Don't give up. I will be praying for you along with the others here. Father God, Help Sanjud. Strengthen her. Protect her. Show her that she is a beautiful woman created in your image with potential and a future. Let her feel your presence all around her. Hold her up. She needs you so much right now. In your holy name, Amen

#3 Melissa


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Posted 03 August 2010 - 07:38 PM

Father, I come into agreement to pray for Sanjud, our sister in Christ. Father, lift her out of this despair. Bind up the lies of hopelessnes that the enemy is speaking to her. I rebuke those lies in the name of Jesus! Father, comfort her, speak truth to her, encourage her. I pray that she will not give up. Lord, when she has done all she can do, just help her to keep standing. Hold her up. We hold her up in prayer. Just like MrsCRNek prayed, you have a plan and purpose for Sanjud. A plan and a purpose of hope! Surround this woman with your love right now I pray in Jesus name.

#4 adaisy4me


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Posted 03 August 2010 - 11:22 PM

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Sanjud, I know what it feels like to be where you are. There are no easy answers, but you must not give up on God. Keep praying whether you feel like it or not. Force yourself to speak to God, even if it is only a word or two at a time. Don't be afraid to cry profusely. Let those feelings out anytime you can, all you can. Don't shut other people out, as much as you want to. When you feel that badly, it is sometimes not a matter of getting from one day to another or one moment to another, but just making it from one breath to the next. The hurt is so deep and so constant and it is always with you no matter what. I know how that feels and how hard it is. If you are in a church, don't be afraid to share what you feel with your pastor and other church members. Talk to them, pray with them. Everything in you wants to give in to what you feel, but don't. You will find the other side to this darkness if you just keep walking forward.

Dear Jesus, I lift up Sanjud to you. Lord, You know and understand everything she is feeling and thinking. You love her and want what is best for her. Please encourage her and let her feel Your Presence in her life. Help her to see herself as you see her and as her parents and loved ones see her. Please lift this weight and opression from her heart and mind. In Your name I rebuke demonic influence in her life. Please Jesus, give her hope, peace, and joy to replace the brokenness and pain that she feels now. She needs you so desparately Lord. I beg you in her behalf for your forgiveness, blessing, and Peace that passes all understanding. It is in thy precious and Holy name I ask it and give thanks. Amen.

#5 spica2salo


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Posted 04 August 2010 - 12:34 AM

dear GOD,
i place sanjud in YOUR hand......oh bless sanjud FAther......make everythng anew in sanjud life.....

sanjud don leave hope.....GOD loves u so much...,jus hold on,i know it's difficult but i hav been thru wat u r facin now,,,even now 'm in such situation...., but only one thng keeps me movin.....everythn must hav an end.....and i hav left de end to GOD......i wANt u to do de same thng.......