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trying to wait on the Lord


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#16 angeladawn

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 04:02 PM

Steph, Anne, Aleona, and my other brothers and sisters, a sincere thank you for prayers. My problem is that I don't feel like THIS particular door is closed. It's weird, a strange feeling. I need discernment, because all I want to do is live my life by God's plan. If this door needs to be closed, although, it hurts, I am willing to do that. I have had some things happen that I don't know if I'm reading to much into because I love M so deeply and maybe I'm in denial. I don't know whether to move on completely or not. I do know I'm hurting, but I also KNOW God will take care of me. Lord, Father, I am here today in my own confusion, I know You have not created it. Lord, I am begging for discernment. I am begging to hear You. Lord, are the signs for me to hang on to M or are they for me to close that door. Lord, I REALLY feel like You are telling me my story with M is not over. Lord, I do not want to be a fool. You know that I want to do Your will. I will be quiet and still, but Lord, to guard my heart I need to know what to do with it. Lord, please, I'm begging, do not let my cries go unheard. I asking for clarity. I am willing and obedient, I want to eat from the best of the land. I am trusting and I will not be afraid. I am asking, seeking, and knocking. Lord, I am also asking that You guide M's steps in his job decision. Lord, help him to have clarity in what You want for him. I also ask that You help him in helping the Church he is ministering at. Lord, the congregation loves him and I am hopeful that M can continue to help that congregation grow. Lord, I am so thankful for M. He helped me to see what type of man I deserve and want. Lord, I am asking for favor today in this matter. Lord, I love You and know that You know what is best for me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

#17 Anne27

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Posted 02 February 2010 - 04:14 PM

((((((Angela))))))) Just felt like you needed that. --Blessings, my friend. Anne

#18 angeladawn

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Posted 03 February 2010 - 05:17 AM

Thanks, Anne. I did need that :) Know I am praying for You and C and that situation. Didn't sleep last night. I'm having moments of sorrow, but mostly moments of confusion still. Maybe I'm not being still or quiet enough, or maybe God doesn't want to answer me yet. I need discernment of keeping this door with M open. M accidentally called me Monday night. His phone dialed me and he hung up real fast, then decided he better call me back and tell me what happened. We talked for about 10 minutes about what was going on with him and the church he is as and what was going on with me. There were no "I love you's" it was bitter sweet. I'm exhausted. On the other hand I have R, who is professing to be in love with me. He wants to marry me. I messed up by giving into his contact and seeing him. I'm not in love with him. That relationship ended seven months ago and it was a very brief relationship. He is not in the same place spiritually as I am. He calls it "bible thumping". Yet even through all this, I continue to talk and see him. I have told him that I love M, but he is willing to wait it out. I don't want R. I do believe he was sent into my life so I could handle Kens marriage to T. R was not good to me when we dated. He ignored me. He presents himself as a man of strong faith, but he is not in the word or church, two things that are important to me. I am so mad at myself for giving in to the contact. It's not right to him and it's not right to me :( I should have continued to ignore his efforts. Lord, give me strength today. I am exhuasted. I am spent. Lord, I NEED to hear You. Please help me to discern between You and any other. Protect me from the lies of the enemy. I know with R what the right thing to do is. But, Lord, with M, I don't know what to do. Lord, I am willing to put my wall up to him and shut that door, but why do I feel like I should keep it open? Lord, give me wisdom. Guard my already broken heart. Protect it from any further hurt. Lord, give me the words to say to R so that I can express to him that I don't see a future with us in a way that wont break him. I don't want to hurt him. Lord, I know how wrong it was to give into the contact and see him. Lord, I know it was a poor decision. I'm begging that You close his heart to me so that he wont hurt. Let him see that we are not meant for each other. Lord, let him close the door to us. Lord, I know I don't deserve anything. I am not worthy. I come to You today a broken woman, a sinner. I am asking for forgiveness. I am asking for favor. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

#19 Anne27

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Posted 03 February 2010 - 08:54 AM

Father, Angela's heart is much like mine these days--unsettled. Where, Lord, is the line between being anointed to wait and our own desires? We throw out our fleeces; we see things that seem like clear indicators from you. Yet we remain disrupted, impatient, frustrated, weary, and confused. Our knowledge and our efforts to stay focused on your Truth--that you work all things out for our good because we love you, and that you have plans of peace of us, plans to prosper and not harm us--these promises should hold us still, but it is just SO HARD to settle down. Longing for the ones we love, longing for healing and restoration, longing for the return to happy days, we find ourselves like David--anguished in our souls, wondering how long before relief comes, worn out from weeping. Father, please have mercy on Angela, even as I ask you to have mercy on me. She misses her friend. It's just that simple. They started something that is unfinished; their relationship has taken an unexpected turn. Precious Angela's heart is tender and was wounded so deeply by Ken. Please help her by dealing gently with her and giving her the comfort and clarity she needs to wait for M or walk with you onto a new path. I ask these things for my friend in the Name of Jesus. Amen.

#20 Mike4Hope

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Posted 03 February 2010 - 09:09 AM

I am so sorry Angela.
As soon as I read your news the book The Dream Giver came to mind.
...... sometimes God wants us to give up our dreams to Him, before He gives them back to us.
That is my prayer for you.
In Jesus name,
Amen

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Angela:
I do not claim to be prophetic, but I am always open to what God prompts when I am on Prayway.

I find it odd that you have this nudge that your dream with M is not closed AND you have an offer to potentially "settle" for something less but sure.

There very well could have been a reason (for you) that The Dream Giver came to my mind as I was about to pray for your direction and clarity.

The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkenson would suggest that your dream is not closed as well. (Odds are that M has read it too)

At this point I think you should at least read it and see if it speaks to you. It changed my life by giving me fortitude for all the things I am waiting for in faith. (and I will never waiver or settle because I know my God given dreams and who is for them and who is against them)

Love In Jesus,
Mike

PS: If you are under hardship for the book, PM or email me your full name and mailing address and I will mail you my extra copy.

#21 TDiamondLove

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 07:43 AM

Lord God, I bring angeladawn to You this day and I ask that You fill her with Your love. Father, give her clarity and make known to her the truth. Open her eyes that she may see clearly and her mind tha tshe may know fully. Lord You hold her dreams, hear goals, her aspirations, her love, her purpose, everything in Your loving hands. You know her coming ins and going outs. Hear her cries oh God and answer her in Your mercy. Lord it is by Yor grace and mercy that she has made it this far and You did not bring her this far to leave her now. Give her the strenght she so desperately needs from You and fill her with Your Spirit. May she be filled with love, joy ,peace, patience, kindness, goodnes, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Cover her with the precious blood of Your Son, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Show her plainly that she has been given the victory in the name of Jesus. Praise You rname Lord and I thank You that You will work and continue to work miracles in her life emotionally, financially, spiritually and where M is concerned. All glory be to You almighty Father forever and ever. In Jesus Holy and Precious name I pray, Amen. Dreams Hold fast to dreams For if dremas die Life is a briken-winged bird That cannot fly. Hold Fast to dreams For when dreams go Life is a barren field frozen with snow. Langston Hughes. The One that placed the dream in your heart will be faithful to bring it to pass.

#22 angeladawn

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 09:22 PM

Thank you for prayers. I feel like I am not hearing the Lord. I'm sure it's because I'm either not being quiet enough or that I am refusing to hear what He wants me to hear. I still am feeling like I need to cling to M. I am feeling sad for R, because he "believes" he loves me and wants to spend his life with me. I am praying God will bring a woman into his life or that his eyes can open wide and see that we are not meant for each other. I really miss M. I miss him sending his sermons to me to look over. I miss his strenght and faith. I miss his companionship. I miss his smile. I miss his laugh. I miss his love. BUT, I am willing and capable of moving on if that is God's will. As I have said before, I know that would mean that God has something else great awaiting me. Lord, forgive me for my sins and my weaknesses. Lord, though my heart is broke, I have been here before and I know it can heal through You. Lord, I am asking for clarity in the matter of M and R. Lord, I love M so very very much. I want what is best for him. I also do not want to hinder his teaching and spreading of Your Word. Lord, be with him on his job search. Lord, I am asking for Your favor here. I am begging to hear from You. Help me to lean on You and not have moments of weakness and settle for what I know is not what You want for me. I love you, Father. I want to be close to You and hear what You are saying to me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

#23 Mike4Hope

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 08:34 AM

I join TDL's prayer for clarity and direction. Lord, I feel that Angela's heart is sold out for You to the extent that she would wait or move on regarding M according to Your Will and best plan for her. I ask that You "knock her over the head" with your direction for her as You have so wonderfully left absolutely no doubt as to what You want me to do regarding Hope. Only You know Lord what that would take for Angela. I ask that you use whatever means to show, or speak, or direct her heart with such clarity that she rejoices and praises You for it. In Your name we are at Your feet, Amen

#24 angeladawn

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 04:19 PM

"knock me over the head" that is what I need. I think I have some signs, but I don't know how to take them or if they are nothing but coincidence. I don't help with the confusion with my disobedience and sinful ways. I am laying it out there. I am a sinner, a bad sinner. I have not divulged my true feelings for R to him. I have allowed him contanct with me. All of this is wrong. He needs to move on from me, because I am NOT the woman for him. He believes God is sending all these signs that point to "us", but I just KNOW he is not what God has planned for me. So there, I'm laying it out there, not hiding my sin for anyone. Why should I hide it from the world? God knows everything I do and knows everything in my heart. I let myself become weak when M and I broke up, and I chose to do the wrong thing. All my choices, bad choices. Lord, please hear my cry today. Please don't turn away. I am a sinner and I know I have greatly dissapointed You. Lord, I am sorry for the sadness I cause You due to my sin and disobedience. Lord, Father, I AM willing and I AM trying to be obedient because I want to eat from the best of the Land (Isaiah 1:19). I WILL do better Lord. You above all others know my heart and intentions. Lord, You know my hurt and sorrow. Lord, You know my struggles. You know my sins. You STILL love me!!! Lord, please forgive me, I beg You. Lord, I know I don't deserve favor, yet I am asking for it. I need favor with M. At least I need affirmation that I am to await this relationship or step away. Lord, I am weak and I know You are telling me, but I don't hear or see. Help me to hear and see. Lord, please I beg You to be with M. Be with him as he delivers his sermons. Be with him as he prepares for his upcoming mission trips to Mexico. Give him wisdom and guidance. Lord, I also ask that he think of me even while he sleeps. Lord, I know he loves me and this is hard for me. Surely this is not easy for him. Lord, Father, bring him closer to me. Lord, be with me as I open up to R. Give me the right words to speak and help him to accept them. Lord, let his eyes open wide to our differences and give him peace to accept we will not spend our lives together. Guard his heart and emotions. In the Lord's name I pray, Amen.

#25 Anne27

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 05:13 PM

Lord, I am here to rally behind Angela because once again she and I are fighting a different battle with similar implications, and because she is my friend in Christ and she has a need. Father, please help Angela. She is crying out to you as I have been. She has been on the spiritual merry-go-round and the emotional rollercoaster. She needs stillness and assurance that ONLY YOU can bring, Lord. I ask that you would cover her in your mercy, grace, peace, love, and Truth in the Name of Jesus. Amen.

#26 Rajan Philip

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 05:17 PM

Lord, Father, I love You and You know my heart more than anyone else. Lord, I ask that You protect my heart that has been broken and is not completely healed from my broken marriage.I know my struggles have made me stronger and closer to You. Lord, today I have sadness and confusion, and I know You are not a God of confusion. Lord, I'm trying to listen to You, but I don't hear You. Lord, I need direction and guidance in my decisions. M has been good to me, but Lord it is hard not seeing him since he moved so far away to lead and help the struggling church. I know he was sent there by You and I have said if it was meant to be with us, that the doors would remain open. Lord, is the door closing? I want to protect my heart. I know satan is trying to confuse me and I feel R is praying against my relationship with M. R is persuing me and I haven't done a good job of stopping him. I love M, and he is more that I even asked for. He is a devoted minister and he helps me in my spiritual growth. Lord, I am waiting for answers and direction and I know I need to wait on You. In the Lord's name I pray, Amen.

Jesus help the person to get peace and a good family life, heal her from all worries, amen

#27 vips

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 09:54 PM

Dear Lord, please heal angela from her broken marraige . restore her life back again so that she shall start living a new life with all your blessings . Amen

#28 angeladawn

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 05:30 AM

"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise" Jeremiah 17:14

#29 Rajan Philip

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 06:09 AM

Lord, Father, I love You and You know my heart more than anyone else. Lord, I ask that You protect my heart that has been broken and is not completely healed from my broken marriage.I know my struggles have made me stronger and closer to You. Lord, today I have sadness and confusion, and I know You are not a God of confusion. Lord, I'm trying to listen to You, but I don't hear You. Lord, I need direction and guidance in my decisions. M has been good to me, but Lord it is hard not seeing him since he moved so far away to lead and help the struggling church. I know he was sent there by You and I have said if it was meant to be with us, that the doors would remain open. Lord, is the door closing? I want to protect my heart. I know satan is trying to confuse me and I feel R is praying against my relationship with M. R is persuing me and I haven't done a good job of stopping him. I love M, and he is more that I even asked for. He is a devoted minister and he helps me in my spiritual growth. Lord, I am waiting for answers and direction and I know I need to wait on You. In the Lord's name I pray, Amen.

O Mary, "full of grace and blessed among women," stretch out the hand of your motherly protection, we ask you, upon us who gather round your queenly throne as your handmaidens, obedient to your command and resolved with your help to bring to realization in ourselves and our sisters the ideals of truth and Christian perfection.
Our eyes are fixed on you in admiration, immaculate Virgin; you who are loved by the Heavenly Father above all others!

#30 mirriam

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 07:13 AM

my heart is griefed. I know and have experienced it but the comfort is that Jesus is always with us up to the end of time. He is the source of true happiness. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginner and finisher of our Faith. He will definently see you through this. Dear Jesus, I lift my Sister to your throne of mercy. The path of rejection, you walked in. You are feeling the total pain and confusion she is right now. Have mercy on her Lord and relieve her from all the pains. Touch her heart right now. You are the only one who can heal her. Touch her and make her whole. Amen