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I'M DONE, FINISHED! I GIVE UP!


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#31 Friend of peace

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Posted 10 August 2009 - 08:01 PM

Dear God, Please remove the trials and tribulations from Angelika's life or give her the strength and everything that she needs to go through them. Work everything out for Angelika's good. Let her come out on the other side of her trials and tribulations doubly blessed and knowing You even more intimately than ever before. In Jesus' name, amen.

#32 Melissa

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Posted 10 August 2009 - 08:19 PM

Dear Jesus, I pray for our precious sister Angelika right now in your mighty name. Father, send your angels to minister to her. I pray that she will be like Elijah who was fed by the ravens. I have that picture in my heart right now Lord. When Elijah was all alone, he had nothing, Ahab and Jezebel were against him, you sent ravens to bring him food and minister to him. Father, send you angels, your people, send whatever you know Angelika needs right now, to her to minister to her and feed her body and her soul. Deliver her from the evil one, who like Jezebel, longs to destroy her and steal her life. I pray that you would bind up the enemy and give Angelika strength, just as you gave Elijah to stand and to run away from the enemy. Give her feet to outrun even a chariot Lord! I pray that she can leap over ever wall that is before her because you are her God, her strength, and her source. Lord, speak to her. She needs your voice and your love. I pray that she would feel your presence. Life! I speak Life upon Angelika right now! LIFE! LIFE! LIFE! LIFE! Living in Jesus name!!!! She is your daughter, dearly loved by you! Grant her long, full, joyful life in Jesus name I pray! Heal her of diabetes. Lord this is not too difficult for you! For your glory Lord! In Jesus name I pray!

#33 Angelika

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 01:39 PM

Hi everyone, I want to thank you all for the loving encouragement and prayers for me in this time of my miserable life. When I read the posts from some of you that could relate with me and how you are still hanging in there, I was amazed at your strength and at how you stuck it out no matter what. Then you shared with me how the Lord would come and rescue you in your time of pain and trouble, and that encourged me to hang in there a little longer. I was also so amazed at how you all opened yourselves up to me, a complete stranger, when you shared with me your personal stories of pain and suffering, and unfortunatley that is something that a lot of people can't do, and it takes courage to do what you guys did. All of you are really a great bunch of people, and I would love to give you all a great big hug for being so nice to me and for caring about me. I just wish that I could thank you all in person, and if it was at all possible, I'd have you all come over for one big barbeque. Another thing, as you well know, I was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, and from what I've learned it can mess with your emotions when the sugar levels are too high which was in my case well over a 400 reading in the US and a 35 reading here in Canada. So maybe that's why I'm so messed up emotionally, I just don't know for sure. Now this new med is making me very dizzy and off balance and that could last a week, and now I'm walking around my apartment like a drunk, LOL, and I can't go like that to the grocery store or take out the dogs. If the cops saw me walking like that on the street, they'd probably haul me into the drunk tank, LOL. So again, thank you all so much for sharing, for caring, for your encouragement, and your prayers for me. Please, please continue to keep praying for me, I still need that so very much. Take care, and God bless you all abundantly in every area of your lives.

#34 vlee

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Posted 12 August 2009 - 03:57 PM

Father I ask that you continue to lift up Angelika during these storms in her life and give her refuge. I thank you that you are always close to your children even when we think that you are not listening. I thank you for your love and mercy. I ask for your divine healing to be poured out on Angelika today. Remove the disease of diabetes from her body and restore her to health. Let her walk in health and prosperity all of the days of her life and let each day be a testimony to your greatness. I thank you for your blessings and your wondrous works. In Jesus name. Amen.

#35 Angelika

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Posted 15 August 2009 - 04:12 PM

LORD I'M SOOOO LONELY. I'M SICK LORD AND THERE'S NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! I CAN'T WALK WITHOUT THE FEAR OF FALLING DOWN. I'VE BEEN ABANDONED BY EVERYONE AND I'VE DONE NOTHING TO CAUSE THAT. WHY OH WHY HAVE YOU ALLOWED THIS?!!! I'M IN GREAT DESPAIR OH LORD, PLEEEEASE DON'T HIDE YOURSELF FROM ME, PLEASE MAKE YOUR PRESENCE KNOWN TO ME DEAR PRECIOUS JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL!!! I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER TO HEAL MY BODY, MY BROKEN HEART, AND TO DRY MY TEARS. MY LONELINESS AND DESPAIR IS PRESSING IN ON ME, AND IN MY DESPAIR I STILL LOVE YOU AND LOOK TO YOU FOR HELP. I REFUSE TO EVER ABANDON YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL NEVER HURT YOU THAT WAY OR ANY OTHER WAY EVER, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!! LORD, I'M YOURS FOREVER!!! PLEASE HELP ME LORD, I NEED YOUR HELP AND HEALING!!! PLEASE, I NEED IT NOW! AMEN.

#36 Pennyv

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Posted 15 August 2009 - 05:00 PM

Dear Lord please help angelika. Please take her situation and turn it all around. Replace all the attacks from the enemy with total and complete victory for her that Your name may be praised and glorified even more Lord. That all will see that You are fighting for her. Thankyou for her beautifully heart for You and for her love for You even through such a dark time in her life. Give back to her all the years the locusts have eaten Lord and so much more. Send love to her to take her lonliness away. Surround her with Your protection and goodness. Bless her and answer her prayers Lord. Thankyou for all You are and for answering our prayers. Amen

#37 Friend of peace

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Posted 15 August 2009 - 08:02 PM

God, I pray for a good godly husband for Angelika if it is Your will that she be married. Please let this be a strong Christian who will be with Angelika the rest of her life and provide for her and love her the way Christ loves the church. In Jesus' name, amen.

#38 Atime

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Posted 16 August 2009 - 01:54 AM

LORD I'M SOOOO LONELY. I'M SICK LORD AND THERE'S NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! I CAN'T WALK WITHOUT THE FEAR OF FALLING DOWN. I'VE BEEN ABANDONED BY EVERYONE AND I'VE DONE NOTHING TO CAUSE THAT. WHY OH WHY HAVE YOU ALLOWED THIS?!!! I'M IN GREAT DESPAIR OH LORD, PLEEEEASE DON'T HIDE YOURSELF FROM ME, PLEASE MAKE YOUR PRESENCE KNOWN TO ME DEAR PRECIOUS JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL!!! I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER TO HEAL MY BODY, MY BROKEN HEART, AND TO DRY MY TEARS. MY LONELINESS AND DESPAIR IS PRESSING IN ON ME, AND IN MY DESPAIR I STILL LOVE YOU AND LOOK TO YOU FOR HELP. I REFUSE TO EVER ABANDON YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL NEVER HURT YOU THAT WAY OR ANY OTHER WAY EVER, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!! LORD, I'M YOURS FOREVER!!! PLEASE HELP ME LORD, I NEED YOUR HELP AND HEALING!!! PLEASE, I NEED IT NOW! AMEN.


Dear Angelika,
i am sorry to hear about such heart breaking things going on for you.
why do you keep saying 'why have You (God), allowed this?' as though there is no enemy who seeks to destroy -your love, devotion, testimony, confession, of God's Greatness in and of Himself, and to us. (reminder-Jobs wife to Job --curse God and die). Are you using that phrase about God to convey how hurt you are? or do you actually believe or feel that God 'allows' our suffering for some reason.
Understand that this way of speaking of God as though He sits back and watches our despair, was used in old testament times before the resurrection of Christ, before the nature of God was directly revealed to every believer (this is the short explanation, someone else may explain it better), we are more than conquerors, we have obtained the promises.
i dont say this to admonish you or belittle what is going on with you. But we need to keep it rooted in our hearts that God, will do, and has done every single thing to remove us from the traps and snares the devil sets up to destroy our lives (relationship with God, or our view of God). Easy for me to say, but if the shoe was on the other foot, i hope you would tell me the same.
i dont say this without having been through some things myself, a few years ago, it seemed every day some thing had to go wrong. i complained , similarly, 'why were these things happening to me', (in case you didnt notice, i'm special, only good things should happen to me--ha ha), anyway how was i to know, that i would look back on those days as the good ole days. The things that have happened, in the last few years, are so much more serious, i couldn't have imagined.
Before i completely depress you, this is not to say things are gonna get worse. It is to say, dont waste this time. As a Christian Entertainer has said, " I would have had more fun, if I knew I was going to live". Get it?
When certain things are going on, we can be so sorrowful, so dragged out, not realizing that God our Dear and Loving Father is going to bring us out the other side. The entertainer i'm talking about went thru two different forms of cancer, one a throat cancer, and he's a singer. i cant imagine, how hard that would be. i'm not making comparisons, but learn it the easy way, by someone elses mistake.
Like i was saying, looking back i can see where God was there and everything He was doing on my behalf. Though at the time, i felt God had left me or disappeared or something. In so many cases, because God continued to move mountains on my behalf even when i was off on my own little bubble of gloom, i can now see where the act of confessing God as Good, Provider, etc., would have made my walk sweeter, also the things that have come up more recently, i would have been more effective to deal with (in the spiritual sense,reacting with the Word of God instead of just reacting) to the situations going on. To be ready to supply (because at some point in our walk with God, and Christ it stops being about just us) to others with God's Greatness. Some times the things we go through become that abundance to give to others, when we see what God has done in our lives.
And we become that much stronger, when we dont give in, but continue to speak the Greatness of God and His Word, despite the circumstances. To this day, there were a couple of situations that came up, that i actually followed through and continued to speak the Word despite what was going on. To this day, i am still receiving blessings and benefits directly from those actions. if you knew how small my part was and the abundance received, you would be amazed. But even where i failed to live up to the Word i knew, God's grace and mercy is even more amazing, because i was still delivered from those situations and still received blessings in them. The only drawback from not holding God forth as i should is....shame and ...regret(sort of),shame , because ,before God i am ashamed that i thought and acted as though He had no love for me. At the same time i was praying for an answer, i declared He -(God)- was not it!
'Why is God doing this to me?'--if God was doing this to me, why would he help me out of it? Think if a person, whom you are doing any and everything beyond asked of you, to help them, said this to you? Even if it did not anger you , wouldnt it sound like they were confused? You are helping them ,but , you are putting them in this situation, or helping but allowing the situation to continue.? What would you say to that person?
This is why i'm ashamed before God, He forgives me but how do i look at God and answer that? So now i try even harder to keep my mouth and mind focused on God as He is, and not get caught up in the devils 'gossip' about what God won't do. i say try meaning i'm no better than i was then, i just dont want to have to explain to God or myself why i choose to lessen who God is. (If that makes sense)

Maybe thats not as you mean it, maybe all you mean is this (your situation) is terrible and needs to stop.

Dear Lord,
Thank You for showing Angelika what she needs to do to receive Your healing in her life. Bring her relief, physically, mentally, and Peace spiritually. Fill her heart with Your Word, that it over-flowing to rejoicing. Bring into her life, some one to help her until her body is whole, also those who she can fellowship with. Fill her life with all that is needed. Let her continue to Bless your name. Bring abundance and prosperity greater into her life. Mend the broken places,
In the name of Christ our Risen Savior
Amen

#39 Angelika

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Posted 16 August 2009 - 03:13 PM


LORD I'M SOOOO LONELY. I'M SICK LORD AND THERE'S NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME! I CAN'T WALK WITHOUT THE FEAR OF FALLING DOWN. I'VE BEEN ABANDONED BY EVERYONE AND I'VE DONE NOTHING TO CAUSE THAT. WHY OH WHY HAVE YOU ALLOWED THIS?!!! I'M IN GREAT DESPAIR OH LORD, PLEEEEASE DON'T HIDE YOURSELF FROM ME, PLEASE MAKE YOUR PRESENCE KNOWN TO ME DEAR PRECIOUS JESUS, LOVER OF MY SOUL!!! I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER TO HEAL MY BODY, MY BROKEN HEART, AND TO DRY MY TEARS. MY LONELINESS AND DESPAIR IS PRESSING IN ON ME, AND IN MY DESPAIR I STILL LOVE YOU AND LOOK TO YOU FOR HELP. I REFUSE TO EVER ABANDON YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I WILL NEVER HURT YOU THAT WAY OR ANY OTHER WAY EVER, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!! LORD, I'M YOURS FOREVER!!! PLEASE HELP ME LORD, I NEED YOUR HELP AND HEALING!!! PLEASE, I NEED IT NOW! AMEN.


Dear Angelika,
i am sorry to hear about such heart breaking things going on for you.
why do you keep saying 'why have You (God), allowed this?' as though there is no enemy who seeks to destroy -your love, devotion, testimony, confession, of God's Greatness in and of Himself, and to us. (reminder-Jobs wife to Job --curse God and die). Are you using that phrase about God to convey how hurt you are? or do you actually believe or feel that God 'allows' our suffering for some reason.
Understand that this way of speaking of God as though He sits back and watches our despair, was used in old testament times before the resurrection of Christ, before the nature of God was directly revealed to every believer (this is the short explanation, someone else may explain it better), we are more than conquerors, we have obtained the promises.
i dont say this to admonish you or belittle what is going on with you. But we need to keep it rooted in our hearts that God, will do, and has done every single thing to remove us from the traps and snares the devil sets up to destroy our lives (relationship with God, or our view of God). Easy for me to say, but if the shoe was on the other foot, i hope you would tell me the same.
i dont say this without having been through some things myself, a few years ago, it seemed every day some thing had to go wrong. i complained , similarly, 'why were these things happening to me', (in case you didnt notice, i'm special, only good things should happen to me--ha ha), anyway how was i to know, that i would look back on those days as the good ole days. The things that have happened, in the last few years, are so much more serious, i couldn't have imagined.
Before i completely depress you, this is not to say things are gonna get worse. It is to say, dont waste this time. As a Christian Entertainer has said, " I would have had more fun, if I knew I was going to live". Get it?
When certain things are going on, we can be so sorrowful, so dragged out, not realizing that God our Dear and Loving Father is going to bring us out the other side. The entertainer i'm talking about went thru two different forms of cancer, one a throat cancer, and he's a singer. i cant imagine, how hard that would be. i'm not making comparisons, but learn it the easy way, by someone elses mistake.
Like i was saying, looking back i can see where God was there and everything He was doing on my behalf. Though at the time, i felt God had left me or disappeared or something. In so many cases, because God continued to move mountains on my behalf even when i was off on my own little bubble of gloom, i can now see where the act of confessing God as Good, Provider, etc., would have made my walk sweeter, also the things that have come up more recently, i would have been more effective to deal with (in the spiritual sense,reacting with the Word of God instead of just reacting) to the situations going on. To be ready to supply (because at some point in our walk with God, and Christ it stops being about just us) to others with God's Greatness. Some times the things we go through become that abundance to give to others, when we see what God has done in our lives.
And we become that much stronger, when we dont give in, but continue to speak the Greatness of God and His Word, despite the circumstances. To this day, there were a couple of situations that came up, that i actually followed through and continued to speak the Word despite what was going on. To this day, i am still receiving blessings and benefits directly from those actions. if you knew how small my part was and the abundance received, you would be amazed. But even where i failed to live up to the Word i knew, God's grace and mercy is even more amazing, because i was still delivered from those situations and still received blessings in them. The only drawback from not holding God forth as i should is....shame and ...regret(sort of),shame , because ,before God i am ashamed that i thought and acted as though He had no love for me. At the same time i was praying for an answer, i declared He -(God)- was not it!
'Why is God doing this to me?'--if God was doing this to me, why would he help me out of it? Think if a person, whom you are doing any and everything beyond asked of you, to help them, said this to you? Even if it did not anger you , wouldnt it sound like they were confused? You are helping them ,but , you are putting them in this situation, or helping but allowing the situation to continue.? What would you say to that person?
This is why i'm ashamed before God, He forgives me but how do i look at God and answer that? So now i try even harder to keep my mouth and mind focused on God as He is, and not get caught up in the devils 'gossip' about what God won't do. i say try meaning i'm no better than i was then, i just dont want to have to explain to God or myself why i choose to lessen who God is. (If that makes sense)

Maybe thats not as you mean it, maybe all you mean is this (your situation) is terrible and needs to stop.

Dear Lord,
Thank You for showing Angelika what she needs to do to receive Your healing in her life. Bring her relief, physically, mentally, and Peace spiritually. Fill her heart with Your Word, that it over-flowing to rejoicing. Bring into her life, some one to help her until her body is whole, also those who she can fellowship with. Fill her life with all that is needed. Let her continue to Bless your name. Bring abundance and prosperity greater into her life. Mend the broken places,
In the name of Christ our Risen Savior
Amen


First of all I would like to say thanks for your concern and for your prayers, and the same goes to the rest of you as well.

Listen, I'm not saying that God is doing this to me, but He's allowing this to happen to me for a reason. God allowed the enemy to take Jobs' family, his home, his livestock and his friends away, and Job stayed true to God. God allows things to happen to us for a reason, and it's only later on, when we look back, we see why God allowed this or that to happen to us. I've gone through so much in my life and I have learned a lot as a result of it and I have a much better understanding of who His is and how He works. Another thing, in the past whenever I was going through hardship I would always run to people first for help rather than to God, and now that there isn't anyone to run to, I have no choice but to run to Him first.

The Lord showed me a vision many years ago that, that was my problem, that I went to God last on my list of people to get help from, but I didn't get it then, but I do now. God wants us to come to Him first for help, not anyone else, so we shouldn't go to Him as a last resort, like I used to do. If you are a parent, wouldn't you want your kids to come to you first with their problems or advice first, or would you rather they went to their friends first at running the risk of getting some bad advce and possiblly getting into trouble? Sure you would. Well our Heavenly Dad wants us, His kids, to come to Him first with everything and anything, and it's because He is a loving, yet jealous God as His Word says He is.

So I'm asking God as to why He's allowing this to happen to me and what am I to learn from all of this. We all go through trials and tribulations and I'm getting wearing of all of mine, and I can't handle it anymore. I need a break, and I need some fun and laughter in my life, and I don't think that's too much to ask, do you?

I just remembered last nite that several months ago I asked God to shake me and to break me to get rid of anything and everything in my life that He didn't want in it, in order to prepare me for what He wants to do through me in this life for His glory. Perhaps that is why I'm going through all of this, maybe this is preparation time and I'm not getting on board with it cause it's too difficult and painful. Someone once told me to be careful when we come to the Lord for what we ask for cause He will answer that prayer,and yikes, I did ask didn't I? But, you know I meant it, I want the Lord to bend me and shape me into this new creature in Christ, so that He can use me in whatever way He see's fit, because my life belongs to Him now that He's bought and purchased me with His blood that was shed for me on the cross at Calvary.

But, I want Him to ease off a little bit so I can come up for air once in a while, so I can get my bearings straight and to get my strength back. Ya know what I mean? I can't take all of this, and it's just been one thing after another, after another, after another, etc...... for many years now, and what you guys have read, is me at my breaking point, a point of going totally bonkers!!! Hey, it's not funny, I'm dead serious. If things don't change soon, I may end up in the looney bin, like those guys in the movie, 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.' but I'll be the leading lady, not Jack Nickelson.

Thanks to everyone that's praying for me, and God bless you all abundantly.

#40 Friend of peace

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Posted 16 August 2009 - 03:25 PM

Hi Angie, Perhaps sometimes in life we (not necessarily you) will not receive an answer as to why God is allowing certain things to happen to us. I want to come to a place where even if I never on this earth receive answers why certain things were allowed to happen to me and/or to my loved ones, that I will be ok with not knowing. In heaven, God will give me the answers that I never got on this earth.

#41 hennie

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Posted 16 August 2009 - 10:55 PM

Job,himself,opened the door for Satan to do those things to him.God had nothing to do with it.

#42 rosie1

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 01:40 AM

Job,himself,opened the door for Satan to do those things to him.God had nothing to do with it.



God asked Satan if he had considered His servant Job. Please explain how Job opened the door.

#43 hennie

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 08:45 AM

Jesus said  in  John 14 verse 9: ……He who has seen Me has seen  the  Father….. And we  read  in Acts 10 verse 38: How God anointed Jesus of  Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: Who went about doing  GOOD and HEALING ALL who were oppressed by the devil, for God was  with Him.  If  this  is what  Jesus did, and because He  and  the Father are one,  how  is  it  possible  that  God  could  be  the  cause  of  these  disasters which were  inflicted on Job? 

#44 Friend of peace

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 11:49 AM

I don't believe that Job opened the door to the devil. I quote from tne NKJV version of the Bible: 'Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?" (Job 1:18) Moreover, God allowed Satan to have power over all that Job had except for his person. Support of this comes from Job 1:12: 'And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not lay a hand on his person." ' (Job 1:12, NKJV)

#45 Angelika

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Posted 17 August 2009 - 02:52 PM

I don't believe that Job opened the door to the devil. I quote from tne NKJV version of the Bible: 'Then the Lord said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?" (Job 1:18) Moreover, God allowed Satan to have power over all that Job had except for his person. Support of this comes from Job 1:12: 'And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not lay a hand on his person." ' (Job 1:12, NKJV)


You're absolutely right, Job didn't open the door to the devil, but God allowed the devil to have power over him, and that is what God is still doing today in our lives. He allows the devil to tempt us or do whatever and it's up to us not to give in to sin as a result.

Say where were we going with this? LOL I can't remember, do you?