Posted 01 June 2009 - 04:46 PM
We are in dire need of Godís help. Everything is going wrong & I canít take anymore!Iíve been praying forever & nothing changes. I feel like God is not going to help me &Iím ready to quit trying; I canít live like this anymore. I want to end it all! I suffer from seizures and Bipolar. I do not qualify for disability because I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last 15 years & do not have enough recent work hours. We need the money so I need togo back to work even though my health is bad. I canít find a job anywhere. My marriage is failing. He wants a divorce. He treats our children & me horribly. He has been verbally, mentally & emotionally abusive to us all. This is not how a family should be. I know he is depressed, worried overworked, and tired. However, I really worry that our kids are growing up thinking & believing this is the correct way married people should act towards each other & their kids. If I knew, it was the right thing to do to make everyone happier, that we could afford to support the kids, while keeping the house so we would not disrupt their lives as they are used to living in a house. Also be able to keep the pets and not upset their lives either, I would
think of his wish for a divorce. I feel like the children & I deserve to be treated with more love, respect & tenderness. I miss being hugged, loved, and treated with tenderness & having a co-parent in this marriage. The children have often commented that he treats our pets with more attention, tenderness & love than he does them or me. The kids always ask me why dad does not want to be with them or love them? I just tell them Dad is just tired. I make excuses for his actions. However, I feel the same way. I wish I had a husband, friend and lover. My husband blames me for anything and everything. Our children are unhappy & starting to be depressed.We need to be better parents & better role models. The home we live in is too small for us. It also needs many repairs. It has termites, which is going to cost $1,500 to treat. It also has other things that need fixing. We donít the money. My husband just took a pay cut at work. I do not know how we are going to pay our bills. We had trouble doing it before the pay cut so how are we going to manage now, God? We cannot afford to move or make the needed repairs & changes on our house. I know we are blessed to have a home. Even though itís falling apart all around us. I worry about our future. I feel jealous of all the people who have money & spend without worry. I am jealous of our neighbors who have sold their homes & bought brand new, larger ones. Please pray for our financial problems, that my marriage will be healed if that is what God wishes or show me the way if you think it would be best if we were to split up, God. Please, God, show me the way! I just want all of us to be happy again! Please pray I will get a great job with hours that will allow me to be home when the kids are home from school. I feel so down, depressed and hopeless. I do not see a way out of this for the kids & me. I keep praying that God will send us a windfall of money, help me find the perfect job, heal all my illnesses, take away my jealous feelings & touch my husbandís heart so he will not be so aloof & mean to us any longer. Help heal his depression, his anger and his worries. Please pray for all of us. Please, God, answer my prayers NOW, not later! We need help NOW! Thank you! Amen.