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can't hold on any longer


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#1 orffgrl

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 05:00 PM

hi-- i am fighting a losing battle with depression, lost dreams, lost future, no hope. there is really nothing left to look forward to except dying. i don't even know what to ask for prayer for, except, please, please don't pray that i just learn to suck it up and accept this emptiness, and all this loss. i'm sorry. i'm not strong enough, nor am i willing to become strong enough, just to walk through this life while i bleed out from the pain. i'd be better off gone. i don't know why so many feel that it's wrong to petition god to hasten somebody's death if their suffering is not of a physical nature. but there is no hope for a real turnaround here. i can no longer believe that the lord is willing to restore what was ripped from me. and i don't have a family, so who's going to suffer all that much when i do go? really, there is no more reason for me to be here, and i'm not willing to hurt any longer. please, if you have it in you to pray that the lord takes me, i really would appreciate it. i'd rather die than face another day of pain. it scares me to think that i might actually be sentenced to be here for decades, just getting older and sicker all by myself. no. it's not worth it. i don't have it in me to take my own life, but i might take my chances later, if that's how my life is going to be. forgive me for being so negative. i just can't stand this pain another moment, and i can't trust the lord anymore. i'm in a catch-22. i just really think i'd be better off gone.

#2 patches

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 05:42 PM

God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him (John 3:17 NIV). Father, we feel so helpless in the flesh regarding this sister who is going through trials and tribulations in her life. Lord I lift this sister to You right now for I believe that You did not send Your Son Jesus Christ into this world to condemn the world sinners included, but to save us through Him. Come Lord Jesus let orffgrl feel Your love in her hearts right now. No storms, no mountains and hills are great but Your Name Lord Jesus that heals and saves. I seek Your mercy and Your grace to remove that spirit of death and prevent it to come near this sister. I plead the blood of Jesus upon her right now. Build Your hedge of protection upon her and send Your angels to watch her steps night and day. Lord, fill her with Your strength, power, peace, love and joy. Let all of us who pray to You for this sister in Jesus' name defeat the purpose of Satan that is trying to destroy her life. Lift her up Lord and let her be use as Your vessels to help others to know You and to live in Your Kingdom. Thank You Jesus. In Your Name I pray. Amen.

#3 just_greta

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 09:06 PM

orffgrl...I have so been where you are. In fact, I am still there. I just keep hanging onto the scripture: "....And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." (Gal 6:9) Please. Hold on with me. We simply can't lose heart...if we do, the devil wins! Heavenly Father, You instruct us to bear one another's burdens. Jesus, help me to help orffgrl bear these burdens. Lord, we're hanging onto You, hanging onto us. Don't let us slip from Your grasp, but pull us up into the shelter of Your wings. Let us run and not grow weary and walk and not faint. Help us to mount up with wings like eagles. Lord, we will triumph! In Jesus' Name. Amen.

#4 ekikaseven

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 10:59 PM

Father, Please comfort "Orffgrl". Cast away that spirit of depression. We bind it up in the name of Jesus Christ. I plead the blood of Jesus over her, from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, inside out. Give her new dreams, a future and hope. Give her supernatural faith in You. Give her a family to belong to. Better yet, open the eyes of her understanding so she will know she is already apart of Your family and the family of christians. Take away her loneliness. Remove the pain far from her. Heal her hurts and her wounds. Strengthen her. Break the assignment of the demonic forces that are torturing her spirit. Give her joy in her heart. Give her a reason to live. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen. ekikaseven

#5 blackbirdsinginginthedeadofnight

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 11:25 PM

Lord God, I join with the hearts of each prayer warrior here, joining to lift up our dear sister, "orffgrl." Her suffering is so thick and overpowering right now. It seems as though it has been like this all her life! Oh Father! Have mercy upon her weary soul. Grant her release from this plague of death that is strangling out her light. Break through those barriors and send her warmth and relief! Cover her on ever side. Bless her with renewal and hope. Hold her so close to Your Precious heart. Fill her with Your bounty of great peace. Seal her in Your throne of Love! Bless her every footstep, and pour out good companionship upon and all around her. Come and show her the way to the land of the living. Grant her more than just mere glimpses of compassion. Fill her with Your life and Your mercy! Come, Jesus, and create a resurrection inside of her life tonight...this very moment! Holy Spirit, come and intercede! Heavenly Angels, protect her and do battle for her life! We ask all this in and through our great Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! AMEN!

#6 Melissa

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Posted 05 March 2006 - 09:05 PM

Father God, I come into agreement with these prayer for our precious sister in Christ. You are near to this woman. You know her heart, you know her mind, you know every single thing that has happened in her life. You are a perfect Father to her. You are faithful God. Your word is true! The enemy would like nothing more than to steal kill and destroy this precious daughter of yours. I come into agreement and pray that you will deliver her from the spirit of death that has tried to consume her for so long. I say "no" to the lies of hopelessness and defeat. This daughter is loved! Yes loved by you Jesus! I pray that a revelation, a true heart understanding of your love will enter orffgrl. I bind the lies that tell her she is not loved by you, that there is not a future of hope for her, that everything is meaningless. Father, you do love her, you have a future of hope for her. She is not alone, there is a spiritual family ready to love and encourage precious sister. Please help her to hear your voice of truth! Please guard her from the plans and desires of the enemy. Help this woman to submit her heart to you and as Rose prayed enter into the land of the LIVING! I thank you that in you every pain of the past is healed. She is not held captive by what any family member or person in her life has said about her or spoken over her. I rebuke every curse in the name of Jesus. I thank you that through you and your blood this woman is blessed and free. She IS more than a conquerer through you! Please send people into her life who will encourage her. Please open the eyes of her understanding and show her your realness, your love, and hope! Fill her with faith. When she is weak please fill her with your strength. I have such love in my heart for this sister. Please help her to feel. Help her to feel all that you desire her to feel. Wash this sister in your cleansing, healing freeing blood. Deliver her and bless her life! I commit her to your care Jesus. We can trust you! In your name I pray.

#7 kay

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Posted 05 March 2006 - 11:19 PM

Christ I join each prayer warrior here for Orffgrl and lift all these prayers up to you. Lord just touch Orffgrl heart and help her feel loved by each of
these people praying for her that we are all friends in Christ and care about her. Two are better than on; because they have a good reward for their labour. Ecclesiastes 4:9 We hope we can be a friend to Orffgrl and bring her hope thru our prayers and a friend thru PrayWay. Christ touch her heart and comfort her.

#8 ann

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Posted 06 March 2006 - 02:41 AM

Dear Orffgrl I pray at the LORDS FEET for you to be set free from this pain of hurt and longing to be at peace. LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS take away every feeling of disspare from Orffgrl, show her LORD how much she is loved by you. LORD i feel this womans pain so much, I want to comfort her through you so that she may know she is loved and needed so much here with us. But LORD this is not enough for her as the devil has cast this woman with his name. FATHER, take your child and lift her up high from satans reach place her at your feet and let her wake tomorrow with a new feeling of love, hope and faith that she is now healed from all that has entered her mind and body. IN THE NAME OF JESUS AMEN

orffgrl I put my hand up for this pain too, but I have reached out to the LORD as you have and GOD does hear every prayer sent out to him. Now that you have cryed out to him for his help I know that you will feel comforted by HIM. Let go, let GOD

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IHEBREWS 14-16 We have a great high priest,who has gone into heaven, and he is Jesus the son of GOD. That is why we must hold on to what we have said about him. Jesus understands every weakness of ours,because he was tempted in every way that we are. But he did not sin! So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful GOD. There we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help.

Psalm 37

#9 Jessica

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Posted 06 March 2006 - 07:52 AM

Dear orffgrl, Reading your posting was like reading my mind six months ago. Just like you girl, I was in such a deep depression I just prayed to go to sleep and never wake up. Trust me, I know what it is like to dread the sunrise each day. My heart is pouring out to you. Please, please seek professional help immediately! It was my biggest mistake not doing it sooner. I want you to know that God is only good and that you are special. I never thought I'd recover from such immense pain, but hang on! You are not alone. Jesus, deliver your precious daughter from this suffering. Drive out the fear and pain that grips her life and let Your peace wash over her. You have created a sensitive and beautiful soul in this woman Lord, with a purpose on this earth. Don't let this world crush her God, but make her strong and abundant in her gifts bestowed by You. I pray for comfort for this woman Lord. May the presence of Your spirit and abiding friendship heal her wounds. Orffgrl, you are not alone. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. You have a family in Christ, please hold on. Your sister in Jesus.

#10 Walkinginpromise

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 11:15 AM

Do forgive me for not putting forth a prayer requesting your untimely departure... I will not entertain the thoughts the enemy has placed in your head or the lack of selfworth that is so evident in your post... I will tell you that you are here for a purpose that you may not see now, life is not always the way we plan it, I often thought of ending my life i begged God to remove the pain.. He didn't and how grateful I am - to come out you must first go through - we cannot give God a timeline we must follow His - Oh my how difficult this is at times... this site on many days held my head up when things were too painfull to face much, less bear... life is sometimes too much, that is the purpose of prayer, to ask that others stand in the gap and to stand in the gap for others. I will not tell you it is ok to give up I will tell you it is ok to give in - Give in to the love and prayers of others ... rest in the peace of God knowing that others are praying on your behalf... Father God, I ask right now that you would cover your child with your all loving and all knowing arms... we do not know every detail but we do understand the pain one feels when the enemy whispers lies and the truth becomes void... Father God, tell her she is never too far from you, remind her of her purpose - Show her how much she is loved! Fill her with LIFE! In your name I pray AMEN

#11 ezeek

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:15 PM

DON´T GIVE UP¡¡¡ JESUS LOVES YOU, AND SO DO WE..

#12 ezeek

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 02:24 PM

PLEASE LET US KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF: HOW YOU´RE FEELING RIGHT NOW, REMEMBER: GOD WON´T LET YOU SUFFER BEYOND of WHat you can stand. HE´S ALIVE. REPLY. LET US KNOW YOU´RE FINE.

#13 Ineedprayer

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 03:34 AM

Dear God I ask you to REMOVE the spirit of DARKNESS in offgrl right now in Jesus name. AMEN PS: :D :D :D :D :D I hope even for just 2 seconds these make you smile.

#14 orffgrl

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 03:40 AM

thank you all so much. i can't say things are better (in fact, they're worse),but i appreciate your responses. thanks most of all for not judging me. i know i made some pretty strong statements, and yes, i am still asking the lord to take me. my fear is that as i get older, and more alone, and the hurt gets worse, that i will lose my soul in the process of just trying to hang on until he does let me die. i don't know. maybe the best i can hope for is that someday i just stop feeling anything, and that i just get through what's left of this life without caring what happens anymore. anyway, thank you all, so much. i know i've given up, on me, and on god, but i hope he blesses you all richly.

#15 just_greta

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 05:54 AM

Hi offgrl! I know it's hard...believe me, if I sat here and told you everything that has happened in the past year and how things only continue to get worse, you would know I truly understand. I have prayed the very prayer you pray..wanting to die. There are days I still want to give up, because there seems to be no end in sight. But other wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, and most edpecially God's word, has helped me to see that by not trusting God, I am trusting satan. And that makes me sick! It's easy to magnify the bad things...esp when we're in pain (physically, emotionally, etc) We must choose to magnify God's Word instead. This trick of satan's to get us to keep dwelling on the bad things is the same old trick he got Eve to think about that fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Right now, the pain and swelling and heartache and financial problems I have--when I think about having to continue in it for much longer, I want to lie down and die, too! So, I have to think about it day by day, and sometimes moment by moment. "For this moment, I can trust God. Okay, for this next moment, I can trust Him still." Find all the wonderful promises God has for us as His children. Then check that you're fulfilling your end to the best of your ability (don't let satan condemn you in this, but also eagerly endeavor to live as Christ has called us to) and speak these promises (scriptures) over your life. "God's word is powerful! Sharper than any two-edged sword!" Start with, "I diligently seek God and His kingdom first, and He adds to me all that I need!" Say it out loud until it becomes truth to you...until you no longer doubt in your heart. It takes a while....I know, cause I still have doubt. But know that we are here on this journey with together with you. We are to encourage one another and uplift one another and help carry each other's burdens. This too shall pass. Blessings to you in Christ! Hang on! "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Gal 6:9