Please pray for my deployed husband
Posted 02 June 2011 - 07:57 AM
Posted 02 June 2011 - 08:57 AM
Posted 03 June 2011 - 03:39 AM
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Posted 04 June 2011 - 01:22 PM
Posted 04 June 2011 - 02:08 PM
Posted 04 June 2011 - 03:07 PM
Thank you Mike and Sweekchildofmine for your words and prayer for me today. Sweetchildofmine is right...I am letting Daniel be my God. I read a lot of scripture this morning starting from Psalm 23 on up to the 40's somewhere. I saw a reoccurring theme. David/the Psalmist draws near to God the in toughest times. He is confident that God will deliver him. I need so much more faith...I need confidence in Jesus. I don't know how I became this person who is so dependent on my husband's approval...I feel so worthless when he doesn't value me. He has done this our entire marriage...draw close to me and then retreat. Each time I flip out and go into deep depressions. The anxiety is the worst. Honestly, reading my Bible today God spoke to me. First he told me that I am so lukewarm in the good parts of my life. I become apathetic sometimes towards God and do not seek Him as actively as when I am on my knees hurting. Second, God told me that he is refining me and preparing the way for me for something. Third, He told me He is all powerful, all knowing, and can do ANYTHING!!! Fourth, I learned that I should expect my Lord to protect me from pain and this world (but I have to allow Him to). Fifth, I learned that God WANTS to comfort me. I think God has put me in this position to shake me up!!! I think He's yelling at the top of his lungs "Amber, WAKE UP AND SERVE ME...EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT!!!"
Sweetchildofmine, you are so right!!! I have to be strong for my kids. I have to take these blows and lay them at my Father's feet. Oh how it hurts, but having a Savior that will bear these burdens for me helps. Yes, I am encouraged, though I may still cry a whole lot. I just hope God molds me quickly and I learn all that I am supposed to. I hope my husband's heart changes for the good, but I have no control over that. I think that kills me the most. I really like being in control. God is telling me to give Him the reins. My efforts have been in vain anyway.
Is it selfish of me to want a happy marriage? I think maybe my motivations have been selfish. My concern has been first with my fear that I will end up alone and second that my kids will have a dead beat dad who hurts them emotionally like he hurts me. My motivations I think need to change. I need to want God to capture Daniel's heart because I love him and do not want him to life a sinful life. I'm just waiting at this point on God. I do not know what my next move should be with Daniel, so I'm not making one. I'm focusing my efforts on a whole lot of prayer and going to try and be Mommy and Daddy to the best of my ability.
Help me to make you my number one priority. I pray that Daniel stops being the center of my universe. Help me let you into my whole world so you can comfort me and speak to me. I'm having a hard time functioning, but I know you are right here with me. I ask that your angels surround me, my children, and my husband. Help me to let go of my worry...even if Daniel is doing something to destroy our marriage, help me to give my worry to you. You have made it clear that I do not have control or authority...but I know YOU DO!!! I pray in your name, by the power of Jesus Christ please bind the evil one and all evil in my life, my children's life, and my husband's life. I know you are my only hope in getting through this. Help me to live as a Holy example of you. Help me to stop throwing a pity party. I love my husband but I know I NEED TO LOVE YOU MORE!!! Thank you for drawing me close. Help me to commit my life to you even when you deliver me from this situation. I ask again that you touch Daniel's heart. Help him to see you. Work in his heart and help him to make you number one in his life. I look forward to feeling your presence in my life every minute of everyday. I look forward to seeing you take your rightful place in the center of my family and marriage. Thank you God that I can depend on you. Every man has flaws, but you I can always count on. Thank you for this forum and my Christian family here on Prayway. Thank you for the encouraging words and help me live another day for you.
In Your Name I Pray,
THANK YOU FATHER GOD FOR AMBERS HUMBLE HEART . ..IM SO THANKFUL THAT YOUR OPEN AND UNDERSTANDING FROM OTHERS JUST WANTING TO HELP YOU AMBER ..IVE BEEN THERE AND ITS NOT WORTH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING ..YEARS AGO I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT NEARLY DESTROYED ME ..MY EMONTION'S ,MY WILL ,MY INSIDE ..I HAD STOMACE SICKNESS EVERYDAY ...THIS WAS SOMETHING I HAD TO SEEK HELP FOR ..MY WORLD REVOLLED AROUND THIS MAN WHO WAS ONLY ABOUT HIS SELF ..VERY TOXIC ..AND I WAS SO NEEDY..PRAISE GOD FOR HE SET ME FREE & I KNOW THAT HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU ..WHEN I THINK BACK TO THOSE TIMES IT WAS AWFUL ..I WAS SO SKINNY BECAUSE I WOULDN'T EAT,MY NERVES WERE SHOT ..I WASENT A HAPPY PERSON TO BE AROUND ,BECAUSE I WAS HURTING AND CONSUMMED WITH THIS MAN ..IM JUST SO GREATFUL FOR PRAYING PARENTS ,I CALLED THEM AND THEY CAME AND TOOK ME HOME ..I LOOK BACK YEARS LATER AND KNOW GOD HAD ME IN HIS HANDS ALL THE TIME ...THANK GOD IT WAS ONLY A YEAR..IM WELL NOW BY THE GRACE OF JESUS ..HE HAS HEALED MY PAST AND SET ME FREE ..LIVING IN PEACE AND HARMONY IS A GIFT FROM GOD ,TO BE BALANCED AND HOPEFUL ,LOVING GOD AND LIVING ACCORDING TO HIS WORD AND HIS WILL ..
HERE ARE SOME SCRIPTURE FOR YOU ..ECCLESIASTES 3:4- A TIME TO CRY AND A TIME TO LAUGH ,A TIME TO GRIVE AND A TIME TO DANCE ..
ISAIAH 66:13 I WILL COMFORT YOU THERE AS A CHILD IS COMFORTED BY ITS MOTHER..
HEBREW 2:1 WE MUST LISTEN VERY CAREFUL TO THE TRUTH WE HAVE HEARD ,OR WE MAY DRIFT AWAY FROM IT ...
PSALM 94:19 WHEN DOUGHTS FILLED MY MIND ,YOUR COMFORT GAVE ME RENEWED HOPE AND CHEER..
EPHESIANS 1:10 THIS IS THE PLAN ,AT THE RIGHT TIME HE WILL BRING EVERYTHING TOGETHER UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF CHRIST - EVERTHING IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH..
JEREMIAH 31:25 I HAVE GIVEN REST TO THE WEARY AND JOY TO THE SORROWING..
Posted 04 June 2011 - 08:13 PM
Posted 05 June 2011 - 06:50 AM
Thank you Sweetchildofmine and your warm words of encouragement and scripture. I went to church this evening trying to get out of the house and also wanting so much more of God. The theme tonight was putting Christ as your first priority life. Ha!! I think Jesus is making His point very clear in my life. I cannot put anyone...my husband, my children, ANYONE before God. If I do it only equals destruction in my life. I turned my phone off all day because not receiving calls or texts from my love just gets me more upset. I decided all day to pray and read scripture and pray some more. After church let out this evening, I pray about it a little and decided to turn on my phone, resolute that if my husband didn't contact me today I wouldn't be crushed. Ironically, I just missed a call from him. He left me about a minute message. I cried a little and haven't called him back. I don't think I can. I'm so sad and torn and sick. I know he's doing a job for the military and I just can't unload all my sadness and doubt in our relationship on him. Plus, when I call back he never seems to answer. I'm not sure how to proceed. I'll pray about it.
On a side note, I do have blessings in my life despite the pity party I seem to be throwing myself. I just took a break from typing this post to put my almost 2 year old to bed. He said as we were walking up the stairs, "Pray mama". I started praying and said "Dear Jesus I thank you for our daddy..." and he repeated and said 'Jez, I tank you for mama..." It melted my heart!
Anyway, to those of you praying, please keep it up!!! Pray that my spirit stays energized and that I give my all to God and let everything else just happen. I worry too much and put a lot of thought into conclusions I jump to. Please pray for my dear husband. Pray that Jesus works a miracle in his life and that he becomes a true and real Christ follower like he once was. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!!!
Like a whirlwind you sweep me off my feet! Thank you for providing support and prayer for me in my time of need. Thank you for blessing me with my two sons and my husband. I know that you will deal with Daniel's heart. Please guide me and allow me to put YOU first. I know in your Word it says seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be handed unto you...help me be a living example of this verse. Thank you for being so present in this forum. Thank you for your blessings that pour out on me each day. Help me to make a move with my husband and please guard my heart and help me not to get worked up if when I contact him he doesn't respond again. I know in your time you will make all things work together for good. Thanks for my church and the message I heard tonight. Please Jesus protect my fragile soul and help me to be the mom you intended me to be.
In Your Name I pray,
AMEN ,PRAISE GOD FOR THE LITTLE JOYS AND THE BIG ONE 2...MY CHILDREN WOULD MELT MY HEART AND MAKE ME SMILE WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE ..NOW THEY ARE OLDER THEY ITS STILL THE SAME ..THIER SMILES ,THERE LOVE BRIGHTEN OUR DAYS AND BRING PEACE TO OUR HEARTS THAT ALL WILL BE OK..I PRAY FOR GOD'S CONTNIUE BLESSING WITHIN YOUR MARRIAGE AND YOUR FAMILY ..I KNOW GOD HAS GREATNESS FOR YOUR AND YOUR HUSBAND ..YOUR CHILDREN ASWELL,HE WILL ANSWER US WHEN WE CALL..WE LOOK BACK YEARS LATER ,AND RELIZE GOD HAD HIS WAY THE WHOLE TIME EVEN WHEN WE DIDNT SEE IT ..AMEN
Posted 05 June 2011 - 08:30 AM
Posted 05 June 2011 - 11:57 AM