Since this is my first blog entry, I'll introduce myself.
My name is Leilee. I am currently a college student. I really hope my age doesn't surprise everyone here much. You don't see a lot of youngsters like me would post on these forums right? It really surprises me how everyone here is gathered because of God. We each have our own individual struggles in life. We just want to hear some encouraging words and know that someone out there is actually listening to us. I settled on PrayWay because of the amount of responses and that people are so persistently in praying on one thing. Everyone gives such beautiful prayers to one another. I came to know God when I was very young about 4 or 5 years old? I went to church school and attend Sunday services. It was a place for me to hang out with kids in my neighborhood and it was fun. Pastors would preach the word of God and provided arts & craft projects about Jesus Christ. However, life events have taken over. I started to attend school and education became the most important thing in my life. I stopped going to church and started to hang out with my worldly friends. It wasn't until my senior of high school that I started to rediscover prayers at times of trouble. I was going through a hardship that I never thought I would have to go through. I felt that God planned everything. Then my freshmen year of college, people from the Christian club of my university approached me and started to preach me the gospel of God again. I accepted Christ once again and from then on... I decide to walk with Jesus.
Of course, when I first started to walk with Jesus I was unstable as a Christian. I still wanted to do my own things my way. I didn't depend on God 100% and I was quite rebellious. It was hard for me to keep myself stable. God knew from the very beginning, I bet. God gave me a lot of good gifts everyday that I failed to realized until a devastating event had happened.
I bet when many of you were my age, relationships and chances of dating dominated our attention span. You can guess pretty much what happened to me! I was dating a guy for a while since my first year of college. His name is Jeff. I knew Jeff since I was a freshmen in high school. He didn't go to the same school as me but some reason we met. I remember back then, I was really childish and there are games online that teenagers all play now. Our friendship grew because of an online game, believe it or not. From what I know from old friends, Jeff liked me a lot but he never expressed how he felt to me. I had a little crush on him too but I was more busy with my worldly things than to care. When I was in a "relationship" in the online game, he was really jealous but still did not tell me. I met my first boyfriend in real life and we started to go out. Jeff of course knew and once again he couldn't help but feel the heart pain. Jeff had many flings as well but none he was ever serious about for a long time. I finally broke up with my first boyfriend after a year and a half of relationship. At that time, I was really depressed. Jeff finally had a girlfriend in real life but he just got one because everyone else around him had a chance in a relationship, he didn't. I finally saw him again when I was exploring another neighborhood after not coming back for so long. I saw him again... it was a really happy moment because we haven't seen each other in so many years. We started to talk again and eventually... we developed feelings for each other or rather... our feelings were rediscovered. He asked me out December 24, 2008 finally after years he was scared to tell me. I called him my "serendipity" because he was someone I overlooked for so many years, he was standing there all along. I accepted it with a smile but of course with a little fear. Every relationship is never perfect. We have our share of arguments and happy times. I met my roommate which was his friend at first when I prayed to God that I wanted to move out because I want to be closer to college. God answered my prayers and we did become roommates in the end. We broke up finally again and it hurted the both of us. Of course, the both of us were too stubborn to admit it. He went back to his ex and that really blew me away. I started to reconnect with God and asking Him to help me be a better person. Recently, I feel like God is giving me so many opportunities to do so. I have became a member of Campus Crusade for Christ which my main job is to evangelize. I have also found a church to attend service. I am also involved in a seminar right now further learning how to be even more closer to God.
Of course... Jeff is always on my mind. I would consistently pray about him. I pray to God about us being back with each other. I know that the situation in front of us looks so impossible but He said, with Him nothing is impossible. This is my heart's most deep intention that I hope God would grant me. I want Jeff back so that we both can grow with God and become mature Christians. I hope to evangelize him if it is God's will. Many people tell me to give up but I hold on because I know God will grant me my miracle.
If you happen to come across this page: My prayer requests are:
1. Please pray for me to continue to mature as a Christian and may God use me as an instrument in evanglizing.
2. Please pray that one day my wait will end. I pray that Jeff and I may reconcile. Please pray that our relationship will be fruitful with communication and love and let God use us to preach the Good News of God.
Thanks for reading! God bless You!