I had a comment on my blog a couple of days ago telling me to ask for clarity. I though when I received my sign yesterday that that was the clarity I was searching for but last night things changed.
After reading something yesterday that confirmed to me that my ex thought he was definately single I tried so very hard to ignore him and cut all my ties with him for my own sanity. I was sleeping last night when i was woken by a text from my ex asking me if I wanted him to stop txting me as I didn't reply to an earlier text he sent me. Still being half asleep I didn't respond to that one either and thought I'd better address the situation in the morning. Approximately half an hour later I received another text which read the following....'please don't ignore me. I know I don't deserve you but my heart is breaking too. Everythings gone wrong. I'm no use to anyone right now. Ive never felt so lonely. I know ive broke your heart and that kills me because I can't help it. I'm too unhappy for a relationship. I wish I could rewind. You are a wonderful person.' well that just got me sobbing, and as I am already concerned for his mental wellbeing felt i had to reply. I asked him what text he meant and that his texts had just woken me up. He replied ignore me I'm being stupid. I asked why. He said he didn't know just that he is the unhappiest he has ever felt and he can't stop crying at night. I know his tears aren't just for me as he has been made redundant twicevthis year, started his own business which has failed, suffered shingles with a secondary infection and endured illness from his and my dad. He us so sensitive that he takes it all in board and bottles it up. I fell back to sleep feeling a bit clearer about the situation. This morning he apologised for his texts. I messages him back telling him what I read yesterday that upset me so much and that my heart is breaking but its nothing to what he us going through. He told me that he is thankful for me sticking by him and whether its right or wrong, that's what I'm going to do. We may be 80miles away from each other but that doesn't mean I can't support him through all this. I love him with every inch if my body and soul.
I really feel as though I have found get clarity that ive been praying for and overs have prayed for me so never give up hope. I know this is just the tip if the iceberg and we have a very very long road ahead of us; I say us because I believe there us still chance of an us; but I won't give up on him...ever...so never give up on hope. I will continue to pray for our reconcilliation but now I have strength behind me too.xx